


Smarts

by MistyBeethoven



Series: Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic! or A Love Letter to Keanu Reeves [7]
Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Brothers, Chubby Girl, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Dumb shaming, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fat Shaming, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Overweight, Secret Crush, Sexual stirrings, Shyness, Size Difference, Unrequited Crush, plus size OFC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 02:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: After being assigned to work on a Science project with Deacon Logan for school, you find yourself fostering a crush on his older brother Ted "Theodore" Logan.When Ted is left confessing his feelings of stupidity to you, it is up to you to cheer him up.





	Smarts

**Author's Note:**

> This is very much inspired by reading an interview with Keanu Reeves, whereupon learning people found Ted sexually attractive, he called those that did perverts. Being one of those perverts, but only 10 years old and very large when the first Bill & Ted film came out, I thought I'd have a little fun at both our expenses and write this bittersweet fanfic.
> 
> You don't read these things, Mr. Reeves, but please forgive me for finding you attractive and following my silly little piece of sad whimsy.

When you were paired with Deacon Logan to do the Science project, you felt yourself flinching at your desk as the other kids snickered and laughed. Although Deacon's back was facing you, you could easily know what his expression and thoughts would be: a look of disgust as he wondered, "Why did I have to get the fat girl." You know that he'd rather have anybody else in class as his partner other than you.

It hurts to be thought of as gross just because you are fat; it is painful that you've tried to lose it but nothing seems to work.

You squirm in your desk and it still feels as uncomfortable and too tight as when you showed up for the first day of class. When it reaches 3:30 Deacon comes over to your desk as you awkwardly free yourself of it. 

"So I guess you can come over today if you want to get started," he says unhappily.

Nodding, you arrange to have your mother drop you off at the Logan household in an hour and a half. You don't dare tell you're project partner that you'd much rather work on it over at your place; you've heard so many horror stories about Captain Logan. He has grown into some terrifying monster inside of your mind.

On the opposite end, is the tales you have heard of Deacon's older brother Ted. All the kids and teens joke about how stupid the eldest Logan sibling is; they say that he and his friend, Bill Preston, don't have one single brain cell to share between them. You have never personally talked with Ted "Theodore" Logan so you don't know if it is true or not. Still, it isn't a very nice thing to say about anybody so even if it was you wished people would just keep their mouths shut.

Of course, they are probably the same people that call you fat any chance that they can get.

When your mother drops you off at the Logan household you hear the shouting even before you reach the front door. It sounds like a man, most probably Captain Logan, is really tearing in to somebody, most likely one of his sons. As you hear the words "dummy," "idiot," and "moron" drifting out to your ears with all the subtlty of a car crash, you find yourself wondering which Logan boy is being so cruelly insulted. When the door opens and it is a tall teenager with dark almond shaped eyes and a mop of black hair, you know whom was the recipient of the tongue lashing. You swallow harshly because this is your first meeting with Ted "Theodore" Logan and you realize that you find him hopelessly adorable.

"Who are you?" he asks in curiousity, distracted from his row with his father.

You say your name shyly and explain that you are there to see Deacon.

Ted looks you up and down and you know that he is fully intaking the fact that you are very overweight for a ten year old . It's pointless to think otherwise. Still he doesn't look at you in disgust but merely extravagantly motions you inside.

Once past the door, you see the bald headed and angry man who had been doing all of the screaming. His hands are on each of his hips, knuckles touching them and his brow is lowered in consternation as he glowers angrily at his oldest son.

"This isn't over Theodore," he states.

"Yeah, I know," Ted Logan says in regret. "Just let me show her to Deacon's room, then you can tear another strip off of me." 

The fuming Captain Logan agrees and you leave him alone in the living room as you follow Ted. On the way to his little brother's room, you try to ignore the teenage boy's nice broad shoulders and the rest of his pleasant body. Little girls aren't supposed to have feelings like that, after all.

Especially fat little girls.

Even though you are aware that you do and you're horribly afraid that would be thought of as gross too.

"Sorry," you say trying to get your mind off of your embarrassing ruminations concerning the niceness of Deacon's older brother's body.

"What for?" the teenager asks truly oblivious.

"For interupting your discussion."

"With my dad?" Ted turns around and looks at you dumbfounded. "That wasn't a discussion; that was me standing there silently while he crapped all over me. Thanks for the pause break, little dudette!"

You find yourself glowing that he would even use the pre-fix "little" for you. Outside of Deacon's room, Ted knocks on the door. "Hey your Science girl is here, bro."

"She's not my girl!" you hear a voice shout out.

Ted turns to you. "If the little turd tries anything shout and I'll come and beat the shit out of him, little princess."

"As if!" you here Deacon say and you don't know if it is in regards to the thought of him trying something with you, his brother beating the crap out of him or you being referred to as "little."

As the tall boy walks by you, he pats your shoulder and heads off stoically to receive the rest of his lecture.

* * *

Later that night, in your bed that you wish was a canopy but will never be because you're afraid of spiders and the webs they may create in its corners, you try not to think about Ted "Theodore" Logan. You know you're thinking of him a little too much for your own good. He is too old for you and too good looking. There is no way that you stand any chance with him yet you find yourself getting warm and gooey when you think of his carefree smile and goofily good natured, hulking gait.

You remember him calling you a little princess; how it was even more wonderful than being called a little dudette. 

You don't feel very much like a princess. Princesses are skinny and beautiful. Once in third grade, you were cast as a queen which the teacher seemed to find more fitting. Queens had given birth to princesses or princes; they could have packed on a few pounds over the years and be quite large. Your best friend was cast as your daughter and to make matters worse the boy you had been hopelessly in love with married her while you had to watch and give your blessing.

No. Life taught you early that in those fairy tales that you love, the princess is never fat and she will never be you either.

But still you can look forward to seeing Ted during the next couple of days. Deacon says you can work at his house. He also informed you that he won't be there often. Your classmate has graciously let you know that his involvement in your Science project involves him primarily letting you use his room, pieces of paper and pencils and pens.

That alone he considers to be giving enough.

"How kind," you think as you turn over in your not-a-canopy bed and try to fall asleep, drifting off to thoughts of Ted Logan's sweet smile.

* * *

The next day, on your way to Deacon's room, which you are fully aware will be empty since he was the one whom let you in before rushing out, Ted peeks his head around the corner before you reach it. Beside him you notice another boy, this one sporting blond curls.

"Hey little princess," the dark haired boy whispers.

You nod.

"Psssss...come here! We wanna show you something!"

While following older boys alone to their bedrooms with the only stayed reason being that they want to "show you something" is usually a very _bad_ idea you have the feeling that this will be okay. You trust Ted and this other boy seems rather innocent too.

"What do you think about this?" Ted exclaims as he holds up one end, as his friend does another, of a piece of bristol board with the words "Wyld Stallyns" written in magic marker on it.

"This is our official name and logo for our band!" the stranger announces proudly and you surmise that this other boy must be Bill S. Preston.

"It's nice," you say and try to smile despite your shyness. You aren't sure if they intentionally spelled the words wrong or if it was an ode to sixties bands.

They turn to look at each other and in unison say, "Excellent!"

They drop the poster paper to play a little air guitar before looking at their fallen work of art.

"Aren't you glad we used marker now instead of paint Ted?" Preston asks.

"Whoa!" the mop haired teen replies. "I sure am Bill!"

As he is picking it up again and rolling it, he looks at you fondly. "So how's your project going?"

"Fine," you reply.

"Deacon isn't making you do all the work is he?" he fixes you with a questioning look which says that he's more than prepared to correct him if he is.

"No," you lie. You don't want Deacon to get mad at you. If he does you may never get the chance to see Ted again.

"Good," your crush smiles and you feel yourself blushing as you excuse yourself to flee to Deacon's room before you embarrass yourself. Once in there you decide to make your project about the human heart, your own one beating loud enough for you to hear.

* * *

You see a lot more of Ted then you do of Deacon during the next few days although often he too is off with Bill practicing for the band. 

At one point, you see him changing through a crack in his bedroom door. He's only in his white briefs. You don't want to look but you can't help it and you find something stirring in you that you connect with getting older and being an adult. You've had it a few times before and you both like it and feel ashamed of it. Staring at the boy's magnificent shoulders and his wide chest and back you feel it again

This time it's okay because it's for Ted...somebody you both know _and_ like.

Looking at his body you realize you like it in a way you don't always experience. Men and boys without their clothing don't always make you feel that yearning and arousal.

You usually fault it on the nipples; they just look silly on males you think. That and rather pointless. 

Ted's don't look silly to you, though. Nothing looks silly on him even the other parts you can kind of see through his underwear which also usually somewhat disturb you. Those parts don't disturb you now, though, and you perhaps stare a little too long.

As if sensing you, the oldest Logan sibling turns and meets your eyes. You stand there feeling an unpleasant jolt through your body erasing all the other good ones because you've been caught. Face redder than it ever has been in your short life, you run and hide out in your once again absent Science partner's bedroom; praying you will die and not ever have to see Theodore Logan again.

When you finally have to leave the sanctity of the room, hearing your mother honking the car horn loudly outside, you pass Ted on the couch and feel your heart racing. It is with relief flooding over you when he only looks up at you kindly and gives you a little wave. "See ya tomorrow, little princess," he says sweetly.

You nod and run out to the car.

Later that night, you recall the boy's strong body and feel that same adult feeling again. You wonder if you like Ted's body because it is so broad, and even though you are so big, the boy still is larger somehow; you could actually feel small in his embrace and like a woman.

Small, womanly and protected.

* * *

The next day when you visit the Logan household it is the Captain who lets you in. He looks at you like a bug under a microscope and you feel another wave of pity for both Logan boys for having such a disciplinary father.

"Deacon's in the kitchen," he states abruptly.

You follow the sounds of youthful boys talking to the kitchen where you find Deacon trying to grab a box of cookies out of his older brother's hand. Ted is holding them out of the younger boy's reach, which isn't very nice, but typical sibling behaviour.

"Give them to me," Deacon is saying.

"Not until you say please," Ted states. "Or until you grow a foot or two."

The younger Logan sibling glares at his brother in contempt. "Well, at least, I'll be taller in a few more years; you'll still be just as dumb."

You see the pain register on Theodore's face. You watch as he slams the box of cookies into Deacon's hands, offering a wounded, "Here."

The teenager sees you and its his turn to blush as he brushes on past. You then turn to find Deacon smugly eating a handful of chocolate chip cookies. "How's my project coming?" he asks.

"Fine," you say, the anger in your voice not very well hidden.

"Good," the boy replies, either not noticing or not caring. "I need to get an A."

He walks by you and you know that he is heading for the front door and not his bedroom.

You don't head for it either, searching for Ted instead. You find him in his own room, sitting up against the wall. Beside him is a pile of unwashed clothing. He looks like he has been crying. Silently you go and sit beside him, Indian style and not legs folded in front of yourself as he is. Your belly gets in the way too much for that to be remotely comfortable.

"I wish I was smarter," he says without looking at you.

You know what he means: you wish you were thinner.

You try to find something to say to cheer him up. Your eyes rest on the poster paper he had shown you days ago. "I think the way you spelt Wild Stallions was really clever," you say.

He turns to look down at you in shock. "You mean we didn't spell it _right_?"

Having the question you had previously pondered finally answered, you quickly try to save the situation. "Neither did the Beatles."

"They didn't?" he asks to which you shake your head.

This seems to have cheered him up but there is still a melancholy cloud hovering over his bouncy haired head.

"Smarts aren't worth a thing," you say suddenly. "Not if you don't have a good heart. And you have a far bigger heart than most people's hearts and brains combined."

Trying to figure this out as if it were a mathematical problem, Ted Logan looks confused until that bright and beautiful smile spreads across his sweet face once more as it finally comes to him.

"Geez! Thanks!"

Silence settling around you, and a twinge of sadness still lurking threateningly at the corners, you find the strength to wrap your arms around the older boy's waist and offer him a comforting hug. To your surprise he returns it, his long arms having no trouble with your girth.

This seems contact seems to work. Maybe because it's what he's been missing from not having his mom around.

As you sit there quietly holding one another you know that there's a real princess waiting out there for Ted "Theodore" Logan; there almost always is for men that are sweet like him.

Or at least there should be.

Maybe there is your own Prince out there waiting for you, as well. Although you'd happily accept just a nice and kind man with a good heart that just loves you; one whom you love in return too.

A man you wish could be Ted but know can never actually be.

Knowing your Science project is almost done and that this is the last time you'll probably ever be this close to him, you lean towards the teenager's face and kiss his cheek, gently rubbing your nose against it afterwards.

Ted lets you before sitting up straight. "You'd better go before people start saying I'm a perv."

You smile and give him a last clumsy hug before leaving his room. At the door you turn to wave and he returns it cheerfully and goofily.

"See ya later little princess."

Back in Deacon's room, you look at the Science project you did all by yourself. It only needs a few final touches and then the boy will get his unearned A just like he wants. With a wicked little smile dancing on your lips, your tongue peeking out at the corner of your mouth, you make a few _very_ unscientific changes and change previously correct facts to false ones.

You know that you are sacrificing all of your work and setting yourself up for a bad grade. However knowing the workings of the human heart has never really interested you; you much prefer just using it instead.

Besides, the way your heart is glowing now thinking about the way Ted will be beaming after his bratty little brother gets a"D" or an "F" is better than any old "A" to you.


End file.
